Tag Archives: grad school

It’s a season

There are seasons to enjoy and seasons to endure. Either way, it would seem the important thing is to be mindful of a season’s passing nature.

In this season of working on a doctorate amidst the energy of my young-ish kids, I am trying to enjoy the enduring….or endure “enjoying” as the case might be. I’m finding that the familiar habits and strategies I’ve always used aren’t quite up to par for the type of focus and productivity I need these days. So I adjust. A lot. The trick is to adjust to adjusting quick enough that it feels “normal.” It’s only a season, after all.

My kids will only be young, full of energy and questions, eager to chat and quick to give hugs for a season.

My work will (likely) only be kind enough to ebb and flow around my family and grad school for a season.

My time in grad school, demanding as it can be, will only last for a season. I will not exist in sea of endless deadlines forever. I will not. I will not.

If it seems like I’m pep-talking myself, I am. Summer break started and the kids are home. Let the dance party begin…

(Actual view from my work space on the first day of summer break)

In moving from one leg of this journey to the next, the goal is to do it with grace. I’m finding the rigor of textbooks and research papers is child’s play, compared to the grace I wish I was giving myself and those around me.

So, I adjust. Again.

I embrace the season of mis-alignment and build the muscle of adjusting. I cultivate the missing grace and patience as I enjoy the enduring of spontaneous dance parties. I practice life in the margins with agility and persistence. And I feel the frustration and smile through the pain, knowing that in doing so I move closer to purpose and alignment.

Today’s change involves getting up three hours before the kids who are innately early risers. I called up some inner fortitude and started the day a lot earlier than I might have liked after a night of lousy sleep and brought to the table some desperate optimism that this strategy will see us through the next few weeks.

We had a huddle last night to talk about what kinds of things we get to do if I can get my work done in the morning…and I may have begged them to do some extra reading in bed before they emerge with all the gusto to face another day. Go team! If anything, this early morning strategy is certainly better for my well being (and thereby everyone else’s) than my previous strategy of loving a little (a lot) too much the quietness of my house in the late night hours after everyone else has gone to bed. Turns out we really do need 6-8 hours of sleep.

So, here’s to adjusting and to early morning flow and to enjoying the enduring of every season.

Small habits, big changes, one step at a time

I did a crazy thing last fall on my fortieth birthday. In a grand stake-in-the-ground kind of gesture, I applied to grad school. But not just any grad school. I figured I’d go for a doctorate and go for a field that’s a bit of a departure from most of my professional work. Why not? Cue “In my next forty years…”

As I contemplated making this big change (because let’s face it, any change is big when you have two little kids), one of the tipping points that I couldn’t ignore was the importance of challenge and intentional growth opportunities in the constant pursuit of wellness. I hadn’t been consistently pushed to my limits in several years and I could feel it. A kind of atrophy that my current day-to-day encounters just weren’t addressing. I wanted to get better. Enter small habits.

small habits big changes

Wellness  is Intentional

Grad school became a part of a renewed wellness initiative. Motherhood had done a number on my self-care regimen and I’d struggled for years to gain new footing. I recognized this opportunity as a fresh start and leaned into the demands of professors and my cohort to act as a kind of accountability, prompting new habits and routines.

Signing up to get a doctorate might sound drastic but the good news is that it’s only the door that opened on my particular journey. For you the impetus to a fresh start will probably look very different. The great thing is, it’s not the the door that matters. It’s looking for the opportunity to declare a fresh start and set new habits.

Habits beget habits. I banked on this principal  to start gradually and build momentum. My intention for these habits is not to conquer big goals, but rather to incorporate these practices in each day and build up my wellness one step at a time. This in itself was a monumental initiative in some ways. The spirit is often willing but the flesh is weak (am I right?!).  With that in mind, here are the areas I’ve been focusing on:

  • Physical fitness – again, we’re not talking major training here. I’d love to ride another century, but now is not the time. My goal in this area is to ensure that I move my body for at least 30 minutes per day. This might look like a kettle bells routine, a spin on the stationary bike, a little yoga, or a hike with the kids. What it looks like isn’t as important as making sure it gets included each day.
  • Diet – rather than make major changes, it was more important to me to set parameters. I know that my body responds well when I increase protein and limit sugar in all forms so I made that the focus for this season.
  • Mind-body connection – I knew I’d need to cultivate a strong positive outlook in order to be successful, so I built in a habit of written reflection and meditation to my mornings.
  • Sleep – speaking of mornings, sleep hygiene had been a fairly distant memory (thank you, pregnancy), so I knew I need to put structure around my sleep-wake times. I declared 11:30 to be bedtime and set my alarm for 6:00 so that I could wake up before everyone else and start each day with a few moments of intention.

That’s it. Just four key areas of wellness will make a huge impact overall. And again, the key is less about what the habits are, and more about the purposeful practice of good habits. Here’s why I started with these four areas.

Physical Fitness

The United States Department of Health and Human Services published the first Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans in 2008. It recommends 30 minutes of moderate aerobic activity daily or a minimum of 2 hours and 30 minutes per week for adults ages 18 to 64 years. Strength training for all of the major body parts is recommended at least twice a week.

If you are not already physically active, incorporating fitness activities into your life doesn’t need to pose a major challenge. A wide range of physical activities meet the guidelines so pick something you enjoy and pick the best time of day to set aside for it. Set yourself up to win and remove as many barriers as you can, if a gym membership isn’t possible, don’t make it part of the plan. Youtube is a great resource for fitness routines. A simple set of hand weights or a walk around the block will help you meet the recommendation. You do you.

Keys to Success:

  • Pick an activity you enjoy.
  • Break it up. Every little bit counts so if you move for 20 minutes twice a day or in 10 minute increments throughout the day, you’ve met the recommended 2 hours and 30 minutes per week.
  • Put it in the calendar and block out the time.

Diet

Eating well triggers a variety of health benefits: mental clarity, better weight maintenance, lower chances of developing diabetes or heart disease, and lower instances of illness. As recommended by the 2010 issue of Dietary Guidelines for Americans, a healthy diet includes significant amounts of fruits, vegetables, low-fat dairy, lean proteins and unrefined grains. The recommendations also suggest lowering sodium, added sugar, trans fat, saturated fat and cholesterol in the diet.

Before you look to cut things from your diet, work on adding healthy choices to your meals and snacks. Don’t set a litany of “No ___” rules, these just aren’t fun and food really is meant ot be enjoyed. Instead of declaring “Don’t eat sugar” you might say “choose protein for snacks and fruit for dessert.” Take a proactive, positive approach as you make changes to what you eat. Keep your healthy food choices simple and on hand so there’s no excuse to cave to temptation.

Chose natural over factory-created every time. That may sound like a tall order, but if really stop and think about what goes into factory-created food and see if you feel good about consuming it. A splash of lemon in tea or water is regenerative and refreshing. And the old, “yeah, but it doesn’t taste good” is a cop out. Just stop that nonsense and make a better choice. Small changes and good habits add up to a complete transition to a more healthful lifestyle.

Keys to Success:

  • Choose one or two small changes to incorporate each month. Keep it positive!
  • Eating healthy needs to be enjoyable for it to be a change that endures, so pay attention to your body’s response.
  • Keep it simple. Variety is good, but stick with what works and keep it on hand.

Mind-Body Connection

The emotional state can affect food choices, physical activity, and engagement in just about every other arena. If we are stressed or unhappy, many of us reach for quick-fix options. Foods high in sugar and fat satisfy the pleasure and reward centers in our brains and may seem like a good idea at the time. Back away from the sugar!

Instead, build in dopamine boosting triggers: creative practice, yoga, fresh air, exercise, sleep, and play are a few easy ways to cultivate a a positive state. Again, you do you. Decide which of these areas you can easily incorporate a few minutes each day as a part of a wellness routine.

It is important to keep the body healthy and the mind in a state of equilibrium to experience a sense of well-being. Equilibrium simply means you do not aim for unrealistic highs or dwell on debilitating lows. Practicing the art of “let it go” and being even-tempered makes it easier to deal with stress, adapt to change, and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Keys to Success:

  • Choose a mind-body activity to include in your schedule which suits your lifestyle and temperament.
  • Determine to practice it daily.

Make It A Habit

As the old saying goes, it takes 21 to make a new habit. More complex accomplishments like establishing an exercise routine, daily meditation and dietary changes can take longer, but it’s important to remember that the goal of creating a habit isn’t about getting “there” in 21 days, it’s about the art of practicing something every day.

Join me on the quest to better wellness. What habits are you working on?